Island Diaries Ep4: Link between your grandma’s tablecloth and the origins of humankind

“The longer I live, the more certain I am that the universe knew that we were coming.”

This story begins at the dawn of time.

The house we lived in had no walls and spread over eleven floors and a secret attic. Invisible spiral stairs led to the attic, which I could only sense, but never touch, until I came in possession of glasses that would, a thousand years later, turn out to be made of quasicrystals. I will find many answers in this fact.

One day they appeared in my hands, suspiciously heavy, dusty and wondrous, like a fashion detail worn by the Nome King. When I wiped them and put them on my nose, my hands came to life and my fingers turned into fat worms, each leading its own independent life. However, looking at the fingers long enough makes the fingers disappear.

Instead of the elongated end of the body, I saw the matter from which it was made, the same as the matter of the plant in the corner of the living room, the banana in the fridge, the air temperature, the bold head of the president of the tenants’ assembly who was knocking on my door to collect money for painting the building, as well as the the space between us.

It was a moment – or a couple of long hours – of essential understanding and an unusual return. The essence of life is the same, present everywhere, indestructible and incredibly beautiful. And in contrast to the fact that when we look at the finger or a feeling long enough, it disappears, a long look at the essence itself causes it to multiply infinitely. I don’t have the knowledge to translate it into a scientific explanation, but as I sense it at this moment, it translates into these words:

• stained glass windows made of stars
• explosion of flowers
• capillaries of the soul
• milje (crochet table cloth) of the universe
• the eternal expansion of omniatoms

The primordial laugh

In the age before body, thought and language, the essence itself was our only home. As one interwoven family, we extended as much as the family house itself – through eleven dimensions, occasionally reaching across the last, absolute, twelfth dimension.

Before prehistory and matter, there was only the pudding of time, made only of love, without mass and density. It was inhabited by beings, likewise without form and identity, who made the pudding out of themselves and remained in charge of its eternal expansion – stuck in a constant eight of mutual creation.

Welcome to absolute consciousness!<3

The first signs of condensation occurred with the appearance of thought, which produced the desire and indications of the first bodies – such as auras, thin, invisible boundaries and thus caused the appearance of the space between. Desire, however, is not necessarily bad, and eons later when I myself find myself in a human body, the one I have now, I will sit on the beach in Phuket while my consciousness will float deep into the sky, and an unknown voice will whisper to me:

At the heart of all desires is happiness for others. When everyone is throwing their heads back with laughter, all your wishes will be automatically fulfilled. All of everyone’s wishes will be automatically fulfilled.

3D cinema by accident

Before that, still on the sand and in full Vanja Mlađenović identity, I thought of a man whom I adored and wished that he too adored me the way I imagined. I remembered:

• the realization of this desire is already present, but covered with sandy layers of pain, like thousands of other desires
• if I dig it up at this moment, the realization will not be completely accurate: wholehearted worship can only come when we are completely pure and overwhelmed by the worship of the essence of life within us – some will call it God, some will call it love, I hear it as deep laughter that lies at the bottom of the heart and never stops – neither death, nor war, nor any form of suffering can destroy it.

And there he was: sitting next to me on the beach, all his teeth out in the sun, looking at me with shining eyes, his hair flowing down his back, his throat bursting in hundreds of smiles, while huge drops of purple rain were falling on us.

The gift of joy can only be given to you by someone who is aware and considerate of their own joy, and that’s just the way it is.

Then I thought of my always-ready escape strategies, and it became clear to me that I am him and he is me.

*Accordingly, I recommend the heartwarming wisdom of Prince and Ziggy Marley.

Here to serve you

I reached out to touch my man’s hair when I was jolted out of my reverie by an explosion of noise. It took me a few seconds to realize that it was coming from my own body. I laughed so hard that I started to suffocate, and then to worry that I am disrupting the others. To my left sat my friend Branka, to my right my brother Ognjen. I tried to explain my sudden understanding to them, and then something holy and magical happened:

• Ognjen handed me an ice cream
• Branka got up from her lying position to hear me

I saw it as clearly as a diamond blade would cut cheese: the essence of God in people’s attempt to understand each other. The complete truth of love found in ice cream, in the tilt of the body, in the smallest effort made with the intention of being good and true to someone, including ourselves. 

Then I saw him traveling through good intention, the most powerful of all the gods. Through my voice to Branka, through the raising of her eyebrows to the cosmos and back to Ognjen, his hand and through the ice cream to my mouth.

The journey continued and I saw it crocheting itself – tablecloth of the universe, a labyrinth woven from love, its curves conditioned by our intentions and decisions. It remains accurate, correct and sweet as long as we function on the basis of one single law – the law of love. This means that we are ready to hear both our own and other people’s voices and act on the basis of the purest ones. That same colorless voice now also laughed and said to me:

It is your duty to:

– recognize the purest of desires in others and serve them

– recognize the call of joy in yourself and to serve it

The imperative sentences were decorated with so much laughter and warmth that I wished he would never leave, and that’s what I told him, quietly, so that my friends wouldn’t hear me:

You are so cute that I want to do everything you say. Please stay forever!

He answered:

I live here and I will always be here, you can come whenever you want.

And continued to rap a Serbian song:

I will always be there for you and I will always give you everything and whenever you want me I will never say no!

I wanted to rap the rest of it, but I couldn’t remember the lyrics, so we went on and on with the chorus until he stopped and told me:

You know what’s the funniest thing? No search was ever necessary.

Daily journey to the core

Now let’s go back to the land before time.

When the newborn thought hardened enough to become an “opinion” or judgment – good or bad- about something, the disintegration of absolute consciousness began. Pieces determined to take on their singularity fell from space to the firmer ground like shooting stars. The stronger their opinion was, the denser their bodies were and the greater and heavier their life burdens. The law of singular needs has replaced the law of love, so we have started to forget. The illusion of separation is so dense today that it seems accurate and matching with reality.

Millions of years later, their descendants, already greatly condensed in their beautiful and complicated human bodies, will find traces of the mysterious quasicrystal in places where meteors hit the Earth, as well as the places scorched by nuclear explosions. A man named Daniel will recognize it and try to explain it, and for that in 2011 he will get another thing worthy of God’s laughter – an award! The award is called the Nobel Prize for Chemistry.

The good news is that there is not much to worry about. Although this human life is indeed full of various burdens, such as worry, physical limitation, the inability to fly, illness and all kinds of fears, well – it has an end. To return to factory settings, it is necessary to look at your own face until it disappears and know:

• Trust is the highest level of existence
• The essence of our being is always present and equal with all living and non-living things
• Love is the only true law, all others are for fun
• Judgment/opinion is the only solid matter in the universe, but we need it because we are not yet ready to let go

From there we return to the eternal labyrinth composed of the purest desires. Some will call it karma. If I have the right to one wish, it is also that we throw our heads back with joy. Throwing back the head in joy is achieved through absolute presence. Remember: if you look at something long enough, something disappears. And when something disappears, it doesn’t die, it returns from where it came from. (This also means that the most widespread Serbian curse – sending your enemy into their mother’s pussy – is a sophisticated blessing). Our only duty is to invest effort only in what is completely pure and correct, in an attempt to find and maintain in its solidity the crystal core that is eternal and unchanging – and to which we can always return, through an adventurous journey through our own consciousness.

And don’t forget! Everyone is right.

Vaki <3

Island diaries Ep3 in English can be found here

Prethodna epizoda iz Singapura na srpskom može se pogledati ovde